“There is something funny about the expression ‘self-control,'” exclaimed Socrates in a conversation with Glaucon while contemplating the virtue of moderation. “The one doing the controlling is also the one who is controlled. The master is also mastered.”

What is moderation? Simple on the outside, this perennial question has infinite depth, and it’s up to us how deep we want to dive into finding its true meaning. In the age of smartphones, digital advertising, and invisible tracking systems that know intimate details of our online activities, it becomes harder and harder to resist buying the next new shiny thing or indulge ourselves in this or that service that promises to make our lives evermore easier and lighter. When everything we want is just one button press away, it becomes vital to learn to draw the line, say no, and know when enough is enough. It is precisely at this moment that we could use some timeless wisdom from a famous Roman philosopher Seneca who took up this question in a letter to his friend Lucilius Junior, included in the wholly essential Letters on Ethics.

After greeting his friend and commending him for his continuous effort to better himself through rigorous hard work and sticking to the single task, Seneca writes:

I have a warning for you. There are those who wish to be noticed rather than to make moral progress. Don’t be like them, altering your dress or way of life so as to attract attention. … Within, let us be completely different, but let the face we show to the world be like other people’s. Our clothes should not be fine, but neither should they be filthy; we should not own vessels of silver engraved with gold, but neither should we think that the mere fact that one lacks gold and silver is any indication of a frugal nature. The life we endeavor to live should be better than the general practice, not contrary to it. … The very first thing philosophy promises is fellow feeling, a sense of togetherness among human beings. By becoming different, we will be cut off from this. If we are not careful, the very measures that are meant to win us admiration will instead make us objects of hatred and ridicule.

A hankering after delicacies is a sign of self-indulgence; by the same token, avoidance of those comforts that are quite ordinary and easy to obtain is an indication of insanity. Philosophy demands self-restraint, not self-abnegation — and even self-restraint can comb its hair. The limit I suggest is this: our habits should mingle the ideal with the ordinary in due proportion, our way of life should be one that everyone can admire without finding it unrecognizable.

But, “What do you mean?” Seneca adds right after with righteous indignation. “Are we to act just like other people? Is there to be no difference between us and them?” And then calms himself with another dose of Stoic wisdom:

A very great difference, but a difference that will be evident only on close inspection. A person entering our house should marvel at the inhabitant, not at the dinnerware. One who uses earthenware as if it were silver is indeed a great person; equally great, though, is the one who uses silver as if it were earthenware. Not being able to cope with wealth is an indication of weakness.

Letters on Ethics, a new complete and accessible translation by Margaret Graver and A.A. Long, remains a monolithic work of great wisdom and a kind of book that beckons you to open it again and again. Complement this particular portion with Socrates on moderation as a harmony that permeates all aspects of the human soul and then revisit Aristotle on virtues as habits.

“I discovered a long time ago that writing of the small things of the day, the trivial matters of the heart, the inconsequential but near things of this living,” wrote E. B. White to his brother Stanley White while reflecting on the art of living through writing. “Was the only kind of creative work which I could accomplish with any sincerity or grace.”

This insight reminded me of my own path of growing through the “small things of the day”: greeting each new morning with a smile, being present while making tea, paying attention to my surroundings while taking a walk, being compassionate and kind to everyone I meet. It is indeed little things that help us grow, and make us better one little step at a time.

The importance of growing through tiny leaps of everyday living is what two and a half millennia ago was noted by an ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics, a timeless piece of writing that to this day reminds us of the essential things that constitute a happy and fulfilling life.

Aristotle starts with the definition of moral virtue and goes on to note that it’s not present in us by nature but requires careful cultivation, something we must engage in on a daily basis:

Moral virtue is the result of habit, and so it is that moral virtue got its name [ēthikē] by a slight alteration of the term habit [ethos]. … Stone, because it is borne downward by nature, could not be habituated to be borne upward, not even if someone habituates it by throwing it upward ten thousand times. … Nor could anything else that is naturally one way be habituated to be another. Neither by nature, therefore, nor contrary to nature are the virtues present; they are instead present in us who are of such a nature as to receive them, and who are complete or perfect themselves through habit. … By doing just things we become just; moderate things, moderate; and courageous things, courageous.

But this process can go both ways, Aristotle notes, for the quality of our actions is crucial in determining the qualities cultivated. We must choose carefully, he emplores.

Further, as a result of and on account of the same things, every virtue both comes into being and is corrupted…. As a result of building houses well, people will be good house builders; but as a result of doing so badly, they will be bad ones. … So too in the case of the virtues: by doing things in our interactions with human beings, some of us become just, others unjust; and by doing things in terrifying circumstances and by being habituated to feel fear or confidence, some of us become courageous, others cowards. … Hence we must make our activities be of a certain quality, for the characteristics correspond to the differences among the activities. It makes no small difference, then, whether one is habituated in this or that way straight from childhood but a very great difference — or rather the whole difference.

But once we set ourselves on the right path by cultivating the right virtues, the process will become easier and more rewarding in and of itself. Aristotle writes:

For example, in the case of strength: it comes into being as a result of taking much nourishment and enduring many exertions, and he who is strong would especially be able to do just these things. So too in the case of the virtues, for as a result of abstaining from pleasures, we become moderate; and by so becoming, we are especially able to abstain from them. Similar is the case of courage as well: by being habituated to disdain frightening things and endure them, we become courageous, and by so becoming, we will be especially able to endure frightening things.

Complement this particular portion of Nicomachean Ethics with Socrates on moderation as a harmony that permeates all aspects of the human soul and Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius quotes on presence and wisdom.

“The safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato,” wrote renowned British philosopher Alfred North Whitehead. “I do not mean the systematic scheme of thought which scholars have doubtfully extracted from his writings. I allude to the wealth of general ideas scattered through them.”

To this day, The Republic of Plato (paperback | audiobook) remains a bottomless well of knowledge and wisdom that we can tap into to live a more meaningful life and cultivate the best qualities of our character.

This timeless piece of writing poses everlasting and relevant questions that endure to this day: what is the nature of justice? What kind of community nurtures the finest life for human beings? What is the substance and fate of the soul? How is knowing different from believing?

In the particular excerpt I chose for today, however, I would like to draw your attention to another fundamental question of our life: what is moderation? What is its nature, and how does it manifest in the human soul? Below is an excerpt from one of the best audio productions of Plato’s Republic that dives into the heart of the matter. Performed here by William Sigalis as Socrates and Ray Childs as Glaucon.

SOCRATES ON MODERATION
from The Republic of Plato

Do you think we can find justice without bothering with moderation?

I don’t know how we can do that. And I would hate to bring justice to light and lose sight of moderation. So, please, do me a favor and consider moderation first.

How can I refuse such a request?

Then let’s continue.

At first glance, moderation is more like harmony and proper arrangement than the first two qualities that we have considered.

How so?

As I think of it, moderation is a kind of order and control of various pleasures and desires. It seems to be implied when we say that someone has “self-control,” “is master over oneself,” and similar phrases.

That’s right.

But there is something funny about the expression “self-control.” The one doing the controlling is also the one who is controlled. The master is also mastered.

That does sound strange.

But I think these expressions refer to two different aspects of the human soul. One better, and the other worse. When the better one controls the worse, then we say the person has self-control. This is intended as a form of praise. If the worse aspect, which is far larger than the good one, dominates a person because of poor nurture or bad company, then we censure that person for being immoderate and lacking self-control.

I think that’s a good explanation.

Now, let’s look at the Republic we have created, and you will find an example of such conditions. If the Republic is properly called master of itself, then moderation and self-control are terms that express the rule of the better aspect over the worse.

As I look at it, I find that what you say is true.

Pleasures, desires, and pains are plentiful and diverse in a Republic. Especially in children, women, slaves, and in the majority of so-called free citizens.

That’s easy to see.

But the simple and moderate desires that obey reason and are guided by mind and sound opinion are confined to only a few people. The ones who are best by nature and through education.

That’s true, Socrates.

Glaucon, do you find both of these aspects in your Republic with the common desires of the majority controlled by the wisdom of the few?

I do.

Then, if any Republic can be called a master of pleasures and desires and self-controlled, this one deserves that designation.

Agreed.

And can we call it moderate for the same reason?

Yes.

Also, if there is any Republic, which the rulers and the people who are ruled agree about who should rule, it will be this one.

There’s no doubt about that.

With the citizens in such agreement, where will we find moderation? In the rulers or in those who are ruled?

I suppose we’ll find it in both.

Then, do you see how close we were to the mark when we guessed that moderation is a kind of harmony.

Why do you say that?

Because moderation is unlike courage and wisdom, which are to be found only in one part of the Republic, making it either brave or wise. Moderation extends to the whole running through all the notes of the scale, producing a harmony of all elements: the weaker, the stronger, and the intermediate. And that is true whether you are talking about strength in wisdom, power, numbers, wealth, or any other domain. Therefore, we rightly describe moderation as harmony and agreement about the rule of what is naturally superior over what is inferior, both in republics and in individuals.

I fully agree with you.

How often do we see people in government speak about spirituality and our connection to the universe? Almost never. A rare exception to this rule was the great Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. He possessed both worldly power and immense wisdom. To this day he continues to change people’s lives through his work written thousands of years ago.

Since I discovered his work, I have been re-reading Marcus Aurelius Meditations and absorbing every ounce of wisdom I can. Today, I would like to share with you five life-changing Marcus Aurelius quotes that will show us how to live a more conscious and mindful life.

#1

Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint, “I have been harmed.” Take away the complaint, “I have been harmed,” and the harm is taken away. — Marcus Aurelius

This quote reminds of all the times I used to overthink little conflicts at my workplace. If someone reprimanded me for doing a poor job or made a criticizing remark, it would really get to me.

The entire day I would replay the conversation in my mind and imagine all the ways I could have responded to my colleague.

I would write entire scripts in my head about standing up for myself, putting that person in his place, proving that he was wrong (not me). And in the process, I would feel angry at myself for not doing it, which made me feel even worse than during the actual conversation.

And the worse part is that I willingly created this suffering for myself.

I would not let go of negative thoughts and keep the conflict alive in my head, giving it more power over me.

Have you ever noticed this tendency in your own life? How often do you continue to carry conflicts in your mind when the actual incident has ended?

#2

Men seek retreats for themselves, houses in the country, sea-shores, and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such things very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. — Marcus Aurelius

This is one of those Marcus Aurelius quotes that makes me remember how I used to crave travel. I saw it as an escape from the drudgery of everyday life, from routine, from boredom, from unhappiness.

For me, the grass always seemed greener on the other side. “This is where people really live a full life,” I thought to myself whenever I was planning a new trip abroad.

New experiences dulled my pain, and for a few weeks I felt a little bit happier and recharged my batteries. But the happier I felt abroad, the more miserable I felt when I finally got back home.

Everything around me seemed gloomy and unwelcoming. I would be disappointed and wanted to go back and never return.

But what I realized is that no matter where you move, sooner or later everything will lose its magic appeal. Your surroundings will become familiar and uninspiring.

The joy can never come from outside circumstances but your inner state. If you are still inside, nothing from the outside can trouble you.

You gain the ability to see everything with fresh eyes devoid of mental labels. You gain the ability to feel a connection to the outside world which is very hard to put into words. And even if you can’t travel for the rest of your life, you will never feel bored or lonely, because you will feel one with the universe.

What about you? Do you feel the need to travel all the time? Do you treat travel as an escape from daily routine?

#3

Consider for example, the times of Vespasian. Thou wilt see all these things, people marrying, bringing up children, sick, dying, warring, feasting, trafficking, cultivating the ground, flattering, obstinately arrogant, suspecting, plotting, wishing for some to die, grumbling about the present, loving, heaping up treasure, desiring consulship, kingly power. Well, then, that life of these people no longer exists at all. — Marcus Aurelius

Whenever I read this quote, I remind myself that whatever difficulties I’m facing right now they’re not going to last forever. That everything is impermanent and comes to an end.

This sounds so simple, isn’t it? But we don’t follow this wisdom in our daily lives. We do exactly the opposite.

We blow everything out of proportion. Every little thing that goes wrong becomes a matter of utmost importance. We think about it, feel inadequate, anxious, and discontent.

Even if it happens 50% of the time, it’s almost half of our life. Half of our life lived unconsciously, out of alignment with life and “what is.”

What I found out from my own spiritual practice is that most situations resolve by themselves if I don’t give them the significance that my mind wants to give them.

In the past I would become distraught and start erratically doing something, adding more anxiety and worry. But now I just let it be. I do whatever I can at that moment, make a plan of action, but I do it from a place of stillness, not worry and anxiety.

Do you have this tendency in your own life? Do you let small things take over your life and give them more significance than they really have?

#4

When we have meat before us and such eatables, we receive the impression that this is the dead body of a fish, and this is the dead body of a bird or of a pig; and again, that this Falernian wine is only a little grape-juice, and this purple robe some sheep’s wool dyed with the blood of a shell-fish: such then are these impressions, and they reach the things themselves and penetrate them, and so we see what kind of things they are. — Marcus Aurelius

This quote reminds of all the times I used external things to build my identity. I would buy stuff to add to my sense of self.

I’m buying this model of a smartphone because this is the kind of person I am. I want people to see it and make a conclusion about me.

I’m buying this brand of cloth because it represents my preferences and my personality. When I dress like this, I want people to make judgments about my character and my interests. I want them to see me in this certain light.

I go only to these theaters, museums, and restaurants because this is where my people hang out. I go to these places because it’s a part of my identity and my social status. I want to hang out with people who only go to places like these; I have nothing in common with “those” others.

I would use this kind of logic in all outer aspects of my life. I would construct my identity around these things and fool myself into believing that it was real.

What I found out later is that those things weren’t me, and they were quite shallow and contributed to much of my unhappiness.

How much importance are you placing on external things in your life? Do you have a tendency to equate your “self” with them? Take a moment to think about it.

#5

Love that only which happens to thee and is spun with the thread of thy destiny. For what is more suitable? — Marcus Aurelius

This is one of the best Marcus Aurelius quotes that gives me the strength to live my life unapologetically and face every challenge without inner or outer resistance.

It reminds me that we are part of something bigger, an interconnected web of the universe. In a sense, the entire history of the world brought about this moment, right now.

What could be more insane than to resist this moment and make an enemy of life itself? When we stop resisting and bring ourselves in alignment with the universe life becomes lighter and more cooperative.

But I’m not saying we should become passive, do nothing, or let other people manipulate us.

Acceptance of the present moment is a place of strength, not weakness. It means we are fully present, we know where we are, what we are facing, and what we need to do to resolve the situation.

Every action is powerful because it comes from the place of inner alignment with the universe.

What do you think about these Marcus Aurelius quotes? Do you have a favorite one of your own you want to share?