Mindful Spot

Buddhism, philosophy, art.

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Donate

Thich Nhat Hanh on How to Deal with Negative Emotions in 5 Mindful Steps

April 23, 2018 by Gavril 9 Comments

Peace Is Every Step Book CoverThere was a moment when we lost our temper and got angry at someone. Negative feelings took control of our actions and let things spin out of control. There was also a moment when we chose to suppress our emotions, said nothing, did nothing, pretended like everything was ok. These two scenarios are so common that at some point we stopped noticing how we follow either of them in our daily life. What can we do about it? The answer to this question comes in the form of a five-step process to help us pacify negative emotions from the book Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by a renowned Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh.

#1

Sometimes we find ourselves in a difficult long-term situation that can’t be changed right away. The only thing we can do is to endure and take small steps towards positive change. But that doesn’t protect us from waves of negative thoughts and feelings that we’ll experience along the way.

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us that the first step in dealing with negative emotions is to recognize them. We should anticipate the tide by observing the feeling arising in us and acknowledging that at this moment we’re angry, sad, resentful, anxious. Seeing that we’re in the grip of a negative feeling is a powerful first step in the healing process.

The first step in dealing with feelings is to recognize each feeling as it arises. The agent that does this is mindfulness. In the case of fear, for example, you bring out your mindfulness, look at your fear, and recognize it as fear. You know that fear springs from yourself and that mindfulness also springs from yourself. They are both in you, not fighting, but one taking care of the other.

#2

Once we see the tide of negative emotions, the next step is not to turn away from it, but face it directly. We might be frightened at first. The habitual response is either to let the feeling control us or try to suppress it. Both are harmful to our well-being. When we muster the courage to face the feeling directly, we’ll realize that it’s only the feeling. It’s not who we are in our essence.

It is best not to say, “Go away, Fear. I don’t like you. You are not me.” It is much more effective to say, “Hello, Fear. How are you today?” Then you can invite the two aspects of yourself, mindfulness and fear, to shake hands as friends and become one. Doing this may seem frightening, but because you know that you are more than just your fear, you need not be afraid. As long as mindfulness is there, it can chaperone your fear. … Although your mindfulness may not be very powerful in the beginning, if you nourish it, it will become stronger.

#3

Once we’ve merged with the feeling, be comfortable with it. Don’t let resistance take over and break the healing chain. This is a perfect opportunity to practice mindful breathing. As we breathe in and out, we calm our minds and bodies. We may also notice our feelings taking refuge in the body and manifesting as tension in the chest, pounding sensation in the head, clenching fists, and so on. As we notice this tension, we gently calm it with the power of awareness.

You calm your feeling just by being with it, like a mother tenderly holding her crying baby. Feeling his mother’s tenderness, the baby will calm down and stop crying. The mother is your mindfulness, born from the depth of your consciousness, and it will tend the feeling of pain. A mother holding her baby is one with her baby.

#4

Now that we’re concentrated, calm, and able to see our negative feeling, it’s time to let them go. But how exactly can we do that? This step might be difficult if we haven’t been practicing meditation for a long time or just started our journey. When we let the feeling be, we let it go. There is no resistance in us, only clear seeing, understanding, and even compassion for ourselves and our feelings.

You feel at ease, even in the midst of fear, and you know that your fear will not grow into something that will overwhelm you. When you know that you are capable of taking care of your fear, it is already reduced to the minimum, becoming softer and not so unpleasant.

#5

By letting negative feelings be and releasing them, we gain the ability to look deeply into what caused them. We will discover that the root of negative feelings and unhappiness lies in our perceptions and certain beliefs that are deeply rooted in our subconsciousness. We need to ask why are we holding on to those beliefs and perceptions. Do we really need to control everything? The answer will reveal itself to us once we’re ready.

This is a process similar to psychotherapy. Together with the patient, a therapist looks at the nature of the pain. Often, the therapist can uncover causes of suffering that stem from the way the patient looks at things, the beliefs he holds about himself, his culture, and the world. … The same is true when we use mindfulness to transform our feelings. After recognizing the feeling, becoming one with it, calming it down, and releasing it, we can look deeply into its causes, which are often based on inaccurate perceptions. As soon as we understand the causes and nature of our feelings, they begin to transform themselves.

Applying This Process in Our Daily Life

Now that we know all the steps for dealing with negative feelings we can start practicing them in our day-to-day life. Whenever we confront a difficult situation, we need to remember to see the feeling, become one with it, calm, release and see clearly what caused it. It will be difficult at first but we shouldn’t be discouraged and keep practicing daily.

Donate & Support

Since I started this website 4 years ago my only aim was and still remains helping all of my readers to discover the path to inner calm through spiritual growth and cultivation of wisdom. I spend all of my free time and resources working on this project and your support plays a vital role in helping me to improve and make this website an invaluable resource for you. If my little virtual home uplifted your spirit or made your day a little bit better, please consider donating to support its further growth.

Your Support Donation

$
Select Payment Method
Your Name and Email

Donation Total: $7.00

Subscribe

Mindful Spot has a free weekly newsletter where I share my findings across Buddhism, philosophy, literature, art, and other sources that allow us to expand our inner world and feel greater connection to each other. Subscribe below:
Subscribe
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Email Share on Pocket
Filed Under: Spirituality

Comments

  1. Pinkey Sen says

    December 28, 2018 at 4:04 am

    Mindfulness is the energy that helps us recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives. We don’t have to wait ten years to experience this happiness. It is present in every moment of our daily life.

    Reply
    • Gavril says

      January 6, 2019 at 10:25 pm

      Hey there, you have an interesting view of mindfulness as energy, but for me, it’s a state that we can enter. Once we are mindful, we can produce energy that can be healing to the mind and body and contribute to our happiness.

      Reply
      • Pinkey Sen says

        February 8, 2019 at 2:08 am

        The thing we need to be able to do is conquer that fear and keep moving to make positive changes in our lives. You have to get yourself into a frame of mind where you come face to face with the fact that your life is short and that you ought to be successful in this shortest time and through mindfulness one can see things crystal clear.

        Reply

Related Posts

  1. 3 Buddhist Principles that Can Change Our Life for the Better – Mindful Spot says:
    July 23, 2021 at 6:14 pm

    […] adversity we’re facing right now, whatever painful emotions we’re experiencing, they will all pass because they are […]

    Reply
  2. How Long Should We Meditate? 8 Meditation Teachers Give Advice – Mindful Spot says:
    July 23, 2021 at 10:26 am

    […] me to become more aware of my negative thoughts and persistent patterns that were causing me much pain and distress. It was the first step, but a crucial one. I’m sure you can do it as […]

    Reply
  3. 8 Best Mindfulness Books by Thich Nhat Hanh We Need to Read – Mindful Spot says:
    May 9, 2021 at 7:12 pm

    […] sutra teaches us how to deal with anger and jealousy, to nurture the best qualities in our children, partners, and friends, and to greet death with […]

    Reply
  4. Eckhart Tolle on 3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Life – Mindful Spot says:
    May 9, 2021 at 5:28 pm

    […] all have different ways of dealing with them, but very often, we do nothing and repress our feelings. This builds up over time and causes […]

    Reply
  5. Eckhart Tolle on 3 Mental Habits that Make Us Unhappy – Mindful Spot says:
    May 9, 2021 at 4:44 pm

    […] in line may feel unbearable to the point that we would do anything to make it move faster. We might feel angry at a cashier for being slow or at people who stand before us in […]

    Reply
  6. 9 Simple Mindfulness Activities from Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh – Mindful Spot says:
    May 9, 2021 at 4:34 pm

    […] the river of feelings. There are many situations when we might lose our temper and let feelings and negative emotions dictate our actions in the heat of the moment. We all can remember times when we overreacted to […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Eckhart Tolle on 3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Life – Mindful Spot Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Donate & Support

Since I started this website 4 years ago my only aim was and still remains helping all of my readers to discover the path to inner calm through spiritual growth and cultivation of wisdom. I spend all of my free time and resources working on this project and your support plays a vital role in helping me to improve and make this website an invaluable resource for you. If my little virtual home uplifted your spirit or made your day a little bit better, please consider donating to support its further growth.

Your Support Donation

$
Select Payment Method
Your Name and Email

Donation Total: $7.00

Subscribe

Mindful Spot has a free weekly newsletter where I share my findings across Buddhism, philosophy, literature, art, and other sources that allow us to expand our inner world and feel greater connection to each other. Subscribe below:

Subscribe

Recent Posts

  • Chuang Tzu and the Butterfly Dream: A Chinese Parable That Questions Whether We Can Know Anything to Be Real
  • Listen to The Hidden Valley: Relaxing Music for Stress Relief by Peder B. Helland
  • The Art of Mindful Leisure by W. H. Davies
  • Apple Meditation: Thich Nhat Hanh’s Simple Three-Step Formula for Mindful Eating
  • Learn About the Hidden Meanings of Yin and Yang from This TED-Ed Video by John Bellaimey

Search

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy Copyright 2017-2022 Mindful Spot
Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions from qualifying purchases. In more simple terms, this means that whenever you buy a book or a product on Amazon from a link on here, I receive a small percentage of its price.