Are you wondering why you should meditate? Before you read the answer, I want you to pause for a moment and ask yourself something else first:

Do I enjoy what I’m doing?

Have I achieved my biggest goal in life?

Am I happy?

Six years ago, my answer to all these questions was, “No.”

At that time, I was stressed and overworked. I was living on autopilot, chasing some vague notion of “happiness” based on external material things.

But the finish line kept moving farther and farther away the more progress I made to reach it.

At some point, I felt utterly frustrated and empty inside. To top it off, my body started to fail me. I had constant back pains and headaches from working at the computer all day long. It got to the point where I would never leave home without taking pain medication.

One day, I woke up and thought to myself, “If I feel this bad now, what will happen to me in five or ten years? I need to do something about this.”

My friend suggested that I try yoga as a supplement for my treatment. I decided to give it a try, and to my surprise, it was amazing for my body and health.

But something else happened during that time. At the end of each class, we practiced Shavasana. Our teacher would instruct us to slowly scan each part of the body to release tension in the muscles.

During this body scan, I noticed that I was completely present. I wasn’t thinking about my problems, what I had to do, what I should have done, and all the other stuff in my head. I shared this with the group, and they said that I should try meditation.

And I did.

Since then, meditation has become more than just a means to stress relief. It became a spiritual practice that made me a better and stronger person than I was before. If you’re not sure why you should meditate, I will share three life-changing reasons in this post.

Meditation Changes Your Relationship with Yourself

One of the incredible ways meditation can affect your life is how it changes your relationship with yourself.

As we meditate, our awareness grows, and we start to see specific patterns in our thinking and behavior.

It becomes clear that sometimes we unconsciously create unhappiness because of our programming and past trauma.

For example, I noticed that I always found myself in the company of people who would trigger my worst insecurities and fears.

There was something in me that wanted to be miserable and unhappy. And all it took to end that pattern is noticing it and a simple decision to stop.

I became kinder to myself and more forgiving. I saw all the flaws I had, but at the same time, I was aware of the ego in me, it was not who I really was.

Meditation Changes Your Relationship with Other People

Another transformation that happens to you is how you change your relationship with other people.

When you become aware of your own ego and patterns, it becomes easy for you to see the ego and patterns in other people.

But it doesn’t end there. You also gain the ability to see beyond the ego. You see a glimpse of their true self that is devoid of all the programming and unconscious behavior.

So even if someone is causing trouble and making life harder for you, you don’t automatically label them as “bad.” You respond to the person, not react to their unconsciousness.

You might take action to protect yourself, but that action will not come from negativity and anger. You will take the right action to resolve the conflict in the best way possible for everyone.

Meditation Changes Your Relationship with the World Around You

The third way meditation changes your life is how you see the world and yourself in it.

When we live unconsciously, completely identified with the ego and its thinking patterns, we tend to see ourselves as separate.

We are only interested in our own wellbeing and perceive everything outside as an “obstacle” that we need to overcome.

Meditation allows us to see through this delusion of separateness. We start to realize that we are an intrinsic part of the interconnectedness of all things in this universe.

At some point in your practice, the tendency to label events and people as “good” and “bad” starts to fall away.

We stop blaming circumstances and face every challenge from a place of inner stillness and presence.

Ever notice how you say, “I’m great” when you’re not?

Do you keep a cheerful attitude just to fit in?

Or worry about what you say or do when in the company of other people.

Sometimes these things can make our day or ruin it completely.

The most common cause of social anxiety is fear and insecurity. We feel as if we lack in some way. We feel we’re not good enough.

These negative thoughts and emotions control our everyday lives and make us unhappy.

So how can we use mindfulness for social anxiety?

I used to struggle with this in the past. And, to be honest, still struggle to some degree even now.

I was always performing a role and saying things I didn’t believe in. All of it was done to please other people. And the worst thing about it: I was unaware of it. It was an automatic pre-programmed behavior.

The only thing that allowed me to uncover this deeply rooted flaw was my daily mindfulness practice. With time, I came up with a simple exercise that helped me stay in the present moment and not be controlled by my fears.

How to practice mindfulness for social anxiety

Step 1

As you’re going about your day, identify situations and people that make you put on a mask and play a role.

It’s a part of life that we can’t escape. It comes with living in human society.

There will always be situations that make us behave in a certain way. Sometimes forcing us to do things we don’t want to do.

So the first thing you should do is identify those situations and be prepared to face them when the time comes. You need to be more conscious than usual.

Step 2

Once you find yourself around people that make you nervous, turn your attention to your body.

Notice any subtle changes in how you walk, where you look, how you hold your hands.

Maybe there is a tension in your shoulders, or you start crossing your arms and act defensively.

These are signs that your body is in distress, and you need to prepare for the next step.

Step 3

The next thing you should do is identify the emotion you’re feeling at that moment.

For example, you could be worried about what other people think about you.

We often grow up in a society that programs us to place value on things like good appearance, wealth, and high social status. So basically, if you’re not pretty, rich, or come from a good family, you’re labeled as deficient.

That’s just one example; it can be different for you. There will always be a negative emotion or programming that underlies your behavior.

Step 4

The last step is to accept the emotion and don’t resist it.

So how does that work?

Resistance is the main reason negative emotions have such a tight grip on you and persist for a long time.

If we observe them and let them be, they lose all their power. So if you say, “I feel that I’m worried. There is a worry in me. It’s just a feeling. It’s not me.” Then go deep and feel it as not you but as energy field in your body. Suddenly, you become free of worry. It doesn’t control you anymore.

It’s all about accepting the present moment as it is. We connect with the inner stillness and realize that there is nothing to fear or worry about.

Go through these steps every day to practice mindfulness for social anxiety. With time you’ll be aware of the patterns that make you unhappy and will be able to let them go. They won’t be able to control you because you will not identify with them anymore.

Admit it.

In every personal argument, you want to prove you are right.

Even in those cases, when deep down you know you are wrong.

But you ignore that feeling and keep pushing.

If you’re lucky, you will have your way. But if you’re not, then the argument will keep escalating until you say something you can’t take back.

The good relationship you both had will end, and you might never be able to repair it.

This kind of thing happened to me a lot in the past.

I was arrogant and inconsiderate of those close to me. The need to be right and tell them how it really is was very strong, almost overwhelming at times. It ruined a lot of friendships in my life.

Since starting my meditation practice, I became aware of this pattern and learned to avoid it. Now I can talk to someone without trying to impose my opinion on them.

When the need to be right returns, I observe it and let it go. Being aware of it has turned into a spiritual practice.

In this article, I would like to share how you can learn to do the same and change the way you interact with people.

Does It Mean You Have to Agree with Everyone?

So let’s clear some things first. It’s completely fine to have views and opinions. What’s important here is to be aware of your state of consciousness when talking about them.

So try to remember how you feel when you lose an argument.

You feel diminished in your sense of self. In other words, your ego is hurt.

This pain creates a lot of food for negative thoughts that you play over and over in your head.

You refuse to admit you were wrong and feel angrier than before.
It contributes to a sense of division and separateness between you and the “others.”

By giving in to this pattern, you start to divide people into “right” and “wrong.” While being in this mode, you’re one step away from labeling people into groups and categories.

How to Let Go of the Need to Be Right

When you feel like you’re going to be sucked into a needless and petty argument, remember about these three questions based on objectivity, compassion, and awareness.

1. The first step is to ask yourself, “Do I know everything?” or “Do I have enough information?”

Even if you think you’re an expert in something, there still might be things you don’t know.

Questioning your knowledge or objectivity is not an easy thing to do. Still, it’s a sobering and humbling habit once you adopt it.

When you think about it, none of us can ever know everything about anything. In the end, it all comes down to personal opinions and points of view.

2. The second question is, “Do I know this person well enough? Or “Do I know why they are acting like this right now?

We can’t truly know the driving force behind someone else’s words or actions. We don’t know about their situation or the experiences they had.

Something must have happened to them to take this stand. You might not see it, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

So try to put yourself in another person’s shoes. For a moment, try to imagine why they would say or think that way. There is always a reason.

3. The third question to ask is, “Do I know why I’m acting like this right now?”

When you are in the middle of the argument, turn your attention to the emotion you feel at that moment.

You might discover that you are angry, frustrated, impatient. Notice how much hostility and negative energy you’re producing at that very moment.

After you’ve noticed the emotion, stay with it for a while. Do not resist. Soon, it will become clear it’s just a feeling, it’s not you.

You’ll notice a tiny space between your awareness and negative emotion. At that moment, you will be able to slow down and realize that this argument doesn’t matter that much.

If you repeat this process every time you find yourself in conflict situations, it will become your spiritual practice. You’ll have so much more control over your need to be right. And you’ll notice how other peoples’ behavior will also start to change around you.