“If I didn’t belong to you, I wouldn’t have written this book. If you didn’t belong to me, you wouldn’t be reading it. I’m you, and you are me — you just don’t know that yet,” wrote Ruth King in the opening chapter of her book Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out. “We are here, sharing these pages, to embrace our membership in each other’s lives, to discover our wholeness, and to remember that we belong.”

For those of us who are on a spiritual journey, it’s all too easy to fall into an invisible trap of losing ourselves in the ultimate reality of “no-self,” a reality where we do not build walls of separation based on age, gender, sexual orientation, or the color of our skin. But if we care deeply about the world we live in right now and want to contribute to racial harmony among people, we need to keep in mind that we are also part of the relative reality, a reality where the “conditioned self” thrives on seeing otherness of others. Ruth King writes:

In relative reality, I am a woman, African American, lesbian, great-grandmother, artist, and elder. However, in ultimate reality, I’m none of these things. I am beyond conception; I am awareness dancing with the karmic rhythms of life. In ultimate reality, there is neither race nor a reason to suffer. We are undivided and beyond definition. But in relative reality, we’re all in considerable pain as racially diverse beings driven by fear, hatred, greed, and delusion.

Drawing on her professional background in designing diversity leadership programs, as well as her experience as a mindfulness practitioner and teacher, Ruth King recounts all the ways in which language, while being an indispensable communication tool, can also serve as a barrier to understanding and healing, especially when talking about issues of race. For example, white people often say, “I don’t see color. Aren’t we all the same?” while people of color often say, “Right, we’re going to talk about race. This means that in addition to being disturbed by white people’s ignorance, I’m going to have to teach white folks what they choose to deny knowing — amnesia of whiteness.” Reflecting on these common responses, Ruth King writes:

There is no getting around that fact that each of us is challenged with navigating the relative reality of race — the fact of these bodies in various shapes, colors, sizes, and experiences — so that we may know freedom. … To understand racial habits of harm — the ways we avoid more genuine connection and healing as individuals and racial groups — is to dive below our knee-jerk responses, beneath the words themselves, to examine our conditioning.

To truly examine our conditioning is not an easy task, for it requires us to work deeply with our minds so that eventually we can change our hearts. It requires us to step out of our comfort zone and willing to be uncomfortable, to unravel the deep web of subconscious programming that compels us to distrust each other. Ruth King writes:

Ultimate reality and relative reality are to be understood as two expressions of one truth, two sides of one coin. Ultimate reality is often associated with the ocean, and relative reality, with the waves. … We were all conditioned by each other in relative reality. The good news about habits [of racial harm] is that, with awareness, they can change for the better.

Mindful of Race, an essential read during these times of unprecedented global challenges and conflicts, consists of three parts. In part 1, Understanding Habits of Harm — Diagnosis, you will discover the narrative we hold along racial lines — both conscious and unconscious. In part 2, Mindfulness — Heart Surgery, you will explore how to stay present to racial distress through mindfulness meditation. In part 3, Cultivating a Culture of Care — Recovery, you will shift your focus outward by using spiritual archetypes and discover what it means to contribute to a culture of care with integrity, talk to children about race, nurture racial literacy through racial affinity groups, and much more.

Complement Ruth King’s insight with Just Like Me, a simple on-the-spot compassion practice, by an American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron.

“Nature is our mother. Because we live cut off from her, we become sick,” wrote Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh while reminding us that the essential part of mindful living is going outside the city and reconnecting with Mother Earth, the wellspring of vitality and well-being.

It’s unfortunate that we rarely go to the country and almost never for a whole day or to spend the night. When we do, we arrive in good spirits, enjoy the fresh air and wide-open landscapes, eat good lunch, but subconsciously we feel invisibly trapped, homesick, and discontent.

And yet how longingly we envision the peace of the countryside that we would almost flee, if only we could so easily and gracefully! How often in the city, among the tall buildings, busy streets, and crowds of people we suppose that peace, prose, and definitive reality are out there, among the trees, grass, and a gentle breeze that cannot be heard rather than here, where irresistible tablecloth of civilization makes us forget and numbs our feelings.

At what point in our lives has artificial become natural and what’s natural has become almost strange and something alien to us? This befuddling question is what author Deborah Underwood and illustrator Cindy Derby explore with meditative immersion in Outside In, a series of enchanting watercolor paintings that transport us into a different reality, a reality that frees us and makes us more alive and present.

Now
sometimes even when
we’re outside…
we’re inside.

We forget Outside is there.
So Outside reminds us
with flashes at the window
and slow magic tricks.

We feel Outside
in the warm weight of our cats
and the rough fur of our dogs.

Outside shows
there is a time to rest
and a time to start fresh.

I’m here,
Outside says.
I miss you.

And we answer.

“In the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your own goals is to back off from striving for results and instead to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment by moment,” Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote while reflecting on seven foundations of meditation that we can use to access the wisdom of our body and mind. “With patience and regular practice, movement toward your goals will take place by itself.”

While navigating the narrow and, for the most part, unknown lanes of meditation we constantly strive to unravel that locus of sensations we call our soul. During the subtle minutes that pass as we try to follow our breath, we feel like a dream among dreams of a different sort in the transitory traffic of our thoughts.

As we continue on, our bodies are lost in the intricate labyrinth of sensations trying to cope with the notion of unreality and feigned existence, of occupying this tiny space of the vast universe, this point of contact with objective reality of the here and now.

This subtle struggle of our spirit to remain undetached and completely unified with the present moment is what Gil Fronsdal explores with grounded simplicity and much-needed relatedness in his book The Issue at Hand: Essays on Buddhist Mindfulness Practice. He writes:

Mindfulness entails knowing what is happening in the present moment while it is happening. It is a training in how not to be lost in thoughts, opinions, and reactivity. … Mindfulness strengthens our ability to avoid harmful impulses and to act beneficially. … Training in mindfulness is thus a training in finding the point of contact. Another way of saying this is that it involves the search for “the issue at hand.” I like this expression because the image of a hand suggests what can be touched, what can be directly seen and felt.

As we start our solitary peregrination of finding a delicate anchor to the realm of felt experience we may become disillusioned with our child-like impatience as vast silence, impassive to slight sounds, assaults and overwhelms us. But this should not discourage us, Gil Fronsdal notes with deep wisdom drawn from his journey on a Buddhist path, for even a mere fact of being aware of moments of defeatism and weakness is the first step in the right direction.

Consider a mountain stream where the water is quite clear, and seems placid and still. But if you place a stick into the water, a small wake around the stick shows that in fact the water is flowing. … Similarly, the practice of mindfulness is a reference point for noticing aspects of our lives that we may have missed.

This is especially true in regards to the mindfulness of breathing, a simple technique accessible to everyone who wishes to master the art of mindful living. Attending to our breath may bring up concerns and the momentum of the mind that disperse our attention and weaken our resolve. If we remain with the breath, then the practice is working. If we fail to do it, then the practice is also working. Gil Fronsdal writes:

Sometimes your attempt to be with the breath is the only way that you see the speed at which the mind is racing. Riding on a train, if you focus on the mountains in the distance, you might not notice the speed of the train. However, if you bring your attention closer, the rapidly appearing and disappearing telephone poles next to the tracks reveal the train’s speed. … Remember, if we learn from what is going on, regardless of what is happening, the practice is working, even when it seems not be working, when we aren’t able to stay with the breath.

For more on mindfulness meditation, complement this particular lesson from The Issue at Hand with meditation teacher John Kabat-Zinn’s advice on seven foundations of meditation that we need to know and practice every day.

“When I think of my mother,” wrote great Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh in Peace is Every Step, a collection of mini-meditations and mindfulness activities we can practice to cultivate inner tranquility and stillness. “I cannot separate her image from idea of love, for love was the natural ingredient in the sweet, soft tones of her voice.”

Reading these lines made me remember my own mother and even though she has long since passed away, whenever I look into the mirror I see her in the features of my face and can’t help but think that she’s always present in me. There is a sense of invisible continuity that can’t be put into words.

There is another very deep observation that Thich Nhat Hanh makes about our connection to our parents, “If we look closely at our body, we will see that it is a gift from our parents and their parents. … As we continue to meditate on this, we see clearly that the giver, the gift, and the receiver are one. All three are present in our body.”

This subtle interrelation of the giver and the gift, a mother and a child, is what beloved poet Billy Collins explores with exquisite tenderness and warm humor in his instant classic The Lanyard included in the collection The Trouble with Poetry and Other Poems. Enjoy:

THE LANYARD
by Billy Collins

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the pale blue walls of this room,
bouncing from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hands,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.