In this article, I would like to share three reasons why we should meditate, how meditation changed my life, and how it can change yours.

Six years ago I was stressed and overworked. I was living on autopilot, chasing some vague notion of “happiness” based on external material things. But the finish line kept moving farther and farther away the more progress I made to reach it.

At some point, I felt utterly frustrated and empty inside. To top it off, my body started to fail me. I had constant back pains and headaches from neglecting my health, sleep deprivation, and burnout at work. It got to the point where I would never leave home without taking pain medication.

One day, I woke up and thought to myself, “If I feel this bad now, what will happen to me in five or ten years? I need to do something about this.” My friend suggested that I try yoga as a supplement for my treatment. I decided to give it a try, and to my surprise, it was amazing for my body and health.

But something else happened during that time. At the end of each class, we practiced Shavasana. Our teacher would instruct us to slowly scan each part of the body to release tension in the muscles. During this body scan, I noticed that I was completely present. I wasn’t thinking about my problems, what I had to do, what I should have done, and all the other stuff in my head. I shared this with the group, and they said that I should try meditation. And I did.

Since then, meditation has become more than just a means to stress relief. It became a spiritual practice that lead me to Buddhism and made me a better and stronger person than I was before. If you’re not sure why you should meditate, I will share three life-changing reasons in this post.

Meditation Changes Our Relationship with Ourselves

One of the incredible ways meditation can affect our life is how it changes our relationship with ourselves. As we meditate, our awareness grows, and we start to see specific patterns in our thinking and behavior. It becomes clear that sometimes we unconsciously create unhappiness because of our programming and past trauma.

For example, I noticed that I always found myself in the company of people who would trigger my worst insecurities and fears. There was something in me that wanted to be miserable and unhappy. And all it took to end that pattern is noticing it and a simple decision to stop.

I became kinder to myself and more forgiving. I saw all the flaws I had, but at the same time, I was aware of the ego in me, it was not who I really was.

Meditation Changes Our Relationship with Other People

Another transformation that happens to us is how we change our relationship with other people. When we become aware of our own ego and patterns, it becomes easy for us to see the ego and patterns in other people.

But it doesn’t end there. We also gain the ability to see beyond the ego. We see a glimpse of their true self that is devoid of all the programming and unconscious behavior. So even if someone is causing trouble and making life harder for us, we don’t automatically label them as “bad.” We respond to the person, not react to their unconsciousness.

We might take action to protect ourselves, but that action will not come from negativity and anger. We will take the right action to resolve the conflict in the best way possible for everyone.

Meditation Changes Our Relationship with the World Around Us

The third way meditation changes our life is how we see the world and ourselves in it. When we live unconsciously, completely identified with the ego and its thinking patterns, we tend to see ourselves as separate. We are only interested in our own wellbeing and perceive everything outside as an “obstacle” that we need to overcome.

Meditation allows us to see through this delusion of separateness. We start to realize that we are an intrinsic part of the interconnectedness of all things in this universe. At some point in our practice, the tendency to label events and people as “good” and “bad” starts to fall away. We stop blaming circumstances and face every challenge from a place of inner stillness and presence.

Sometimes it can be hard for us to meditate even for three minutes. There are many factors that cause this but the most prominent among them are irritating noises, physical discomfort, and distracting thoughts. What we may not realize at first is that all these meditation distractions can become a part of the process and we can learn to be comfortable with them.

I went through that stage myself. Looking back, all I can remember is irritation and disappointment. Prolonged sitting caused physical distress and stirred memories from my past that I learned to push away, and it wasn’t what I wanted. But in the end, it did help me let go of the things that were burdening my mind. Meditation allowed me to observe my thoughts without judgment and I was able to focus on the now, the only thing that truly mattered. In this post, I would like to share the three most common meditation distractions and how we can deal with them.

Irritating Noises

I’m a part of a meditation group, and one day a member posted a question on behalf of a friend who lived on a farm. This friend wanted to meditate, but pig noises interfered with his concentration. So he wanted to know what he should do about it. The right answer to that question is two-fold.

First, we have to take the right action. Do whatever we can to find a quiet place. However, sometimes it’s easier said than done.

If there is no practical way to get rid of the distracting sound, we need to get comfortable with it. We should observe our internal reactions and let them uncover our habitual thought patterns.

As we practice more, we might notice that the noise doesn’t really bother us anymore. So whether we meditate in total silence or with pigs around won’t make any difference.

Physical Discomfort

Even if we try to sit still we might find that our bodies want to move and on top of that it seems like forever because time has slowed down, almost stopped.

In my experience, this irritating feeling can be linked to physical discomfort. One way to deal with this meditation distraction is to adjust our sitting meditation posture.

For example, many of us may start with a cross-legged position on the floor. I do not recommend this approach because it does more harm than good. If we are not flexible enough, we might feel tense and uneasy.

The best option is to sit on a chair, placing feet firmly on the ground and arms on the lap. This way, we can keep our bodies relaxed, and our minds alert for meditation.

Related: 3 Relaxing Meditation Postures for Beginners

Distracting Thoughts

Sometimes it seems impossible keep out distracting thoughts when we meditate. Only a few minutes into meditation and a random image from our past shutters our concentration. And when that happens, we blame ourselves for not being able to meditate the right way. As this keeps happening, we consider dropping meditation because it doesn’t work. If we ever felt that way, then we had been doing everything right. Becoming aware of our thoughts is one of the main benefits of meditation.

For example, when we count our out-breaths during breathing meditation and get distracted, we have to start all over again. Only then can we move on to the next stage of the technique. In the long run, this repetition helps our minds to let go of thoughts and go back to our breath. We learn to “catch” our thoughts, becoming aware of something that was unconscious. So there are two components at work here: we notice that we are being distracted by a thought and we go back to our breath

Related: How to Practice Breathing Meditation in 4 Easy Steps

The moment we notice the distraction is the moment we create a small gap between us and our thoughts. That gap means that we can “see” the thought from a distance. We break our identification with it. We become the observers. This gap is tiny at first, but with time it expands, and our concentration improves. It becomes much easier to follow our breath and come back to it whenever we want.

This practice profoundly changes our everyday life. Even when not meditating, we can catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts. Our awareness grows, and with it, our ability to remain calm and take the right action.

How can we have future goals and live in the present moment at the same time?” Some of us who considered this question might be under the impression that being in the now excludes any goal-setting and thoughts of the future.

On the surface, the teachings of modern spiritual teachers like Eckhart Tolle can make us believe that there is nothing but the present moment. We might also think mastering the art of living in the now requires us to drop all thoughts about the past and future.

But these things don’t exclude one another. We can (and should) practice them together for a happy and fulfilling life. In this article, I would like to share how we can be present and have future goals without any worry or stress.

Escape the Trap of Psychological Time

The first step is to understand the difference between psychological time and clock time. The psychological time traps us in never-ending regret about the past and worries about the future.

Let’s say we’re having dinner with our family. We smile, look happy and engage in small talk, but our thoughts are elsewhere. In our minds, we keep going back to that important project that we’ve been on working on for months. We worry that without our complete attention it’s going to fail. Then we imagine what would happen if it does fail. All the hours and money we put into making it happen will be wasted, and we’ll have to start over or come up with a new idea.

By immersing ourselves in negative thoughts, we made the worst-case scenario a reality. In our heads, we already failed. And on top of that, we may feel all associated negative emotions. To escape the trap of psychological time we need to use clock time. This brings us to the next point.

Do The Only Thing You Can Do Right Now

The opposite of psychological time is the clock time. Here’s how it works. When we use clock time, we are living in the present but peripherally aware of our past and future. We know what happened to us in the past, but it doesn’t affect our life now. We have a goal and want to achieve it, but we’re not imagining what might go wrong. Instead, we know where we are right now and what we need to do. Being present doesn’t mean that we dismiss logical thinking and common sense.

For example, if we know that there may be some challenges on the way to our goal we realize that fully. We do not live in denial. By being aware of the obstacles and challenges, we are taking the right action now. It may be that the only action we can take now is to plan. Then we should make a plan, do what we have to do in the present circumstances.

Take One Step at a Time

Making an action plan can pull us into the “prediction mode” where we start thinking about all the things. We shouldn’t let our minds do that. By taking a deep breath, we let the planning flow from an inner state of calm and presence. In this very moment, we are where we are supposed to be. We do not need to hurry or prove anything to anyone.

It’s beneficial to write down all the tasks that we need to do, put them on our calendars, set reminders, and rest in the knowledge that everything will be accomplished in its own time. Then start going towards our goal by taking one step at a time. Each step will be fully rooted in the present moment, and any action arising out of it will be powerful and intentional.

Everyone has doubts about whether or not they are meditating the right way or not, especially in the beginning. We keep hearing that we need to observe our thoughts but not sure how does that feel exactly. We sit down to meditate only to find ourselves lost in a long train of thoughts and then try not to worry about it. We turn to guided meditation apps but then have doubts whether that constitutes true meditation. We have all these questions that affect our practice, and we want to get some clarity to move forward.

When I just started my meditation practice I had a lot of questions too. The one thing I remember reading is that our minds will fall into the same trap over and over again. I was looking for one single trap but as it turned out there were many traps my mind loved to fall into time after time. It just couldn’t help itself; you could almost say that it loved those traps. In this article, I would like to share common meditation mistakes that await us on our journey to inner peace.

#1. Wanting relaxation

One of the biggest mistakes that we make is trying to relax in meditation. Meditation is not about relaxation. It’s about a delicate balance between relaxation and alertness. When we start to meditate and expect to fall into a relaxed state, we’ll find ourselves disillusioned pretty quickly. We’ll probably experience a mixture of restlessness, discomfort, and boredom. Meditation is about noticing those states and being in them fully instead of rejecting them.

#2. Relying on Guided Meditation (Too Much)

I wrote an entire article about iPhone meditation apps for beginners. There is an opinion out there that we can’t practice true meditation with apps. I think in the very beginning it’s ok to use guided meditation. What is not ok is to continually rely on a guided meditation to unwind and relax. At some point, we should start practicing meditation in total silence by ourselves. That is the only way we will make progress and learn to be present during daily activities.

#3. Holding on to Our Thoughts

Every time we meditate we’re bound to face some of the negative thoughts from the depths of our subconscious mind. We’ll try to hold on to them, but the key is to let them come and go. We shouldn’t try to analyze them during meditation. Just acknowledging that we have that thought and bring our attention back to the breath is enough. We can analyze our thoughts later.

#4. Choosing the Wrong Time of Day

Does it matter what time of day we choose for meditation? Generally, there is no wrong or right time to do it. What we should be striving for is to learn to carry what we learned in meditation into daily life and all the challenging situations that we might face. So it’s not about the right time, it’s about the ability to access a calm meditative state of mind no matter where we are. In the beginning, it’s better to meditate in the morning: the recent study showed that new habits are more likely to form in the morning, so we need to think about adjusting our morning routines accordingly.

#5. Expecting Quick Results

Meditation brings a lot of benefits but we’re not likely to experience all of them right away. The biggest mistake we can make is to start meditation as “medication”. This may result in failed expectations, disappointment, and frustration. Any kind of benefit that we experience is only a byproduct, not the ultimate goal. The sooner we realize that it’s a spiritual practice, the sooner we’ll experience all those benefits because they will come to us naturally at no particular time.

#6. Judging the Experience

When we meditate, we’ll start to notice persistent thought patterns that our mind loves to engage in. In everyday life those thoughts are mostly unconscious, only meditation can bring them to our attention. Those thoughts will try to draw us into a black hole of negativity, making us ruminate the past and fear the future. The best thing we can do is not to get involved in those thoughts. We need to notice them and let them go as best we can.

#7. Starting with the Wrong Duration

How long should we meditate? 1 minute? 3? 5? 10? 30? What is the magic number that will finally make our meditation practice enjoyable? The answer is very simple – it depends. For those who are starting out, very short daily sitting meditation no longer than 10 minutes is generally recommended. We can even do 3-minute meditation, the main thing here is that we do it consistently.

#8. Not Making a Time in Your Schedule

This is another mistake that many of us make: we can’t find time to meditate because of a busy job and people in our life that need constant attention. On top of that, we already have a perfect routine that we’ve been following for years, and adding a 10-minute window to sit and meditate seems almost impossible. But we won’t be able to meditate effectively unless we make time for it. So instead of trying to find time, we should make time for meditation. It’s a conscious choice that we have to make for ourselves and our well-being.

#9. Being Inconsistent

Another mistake is being inconsistent. It’s important to understand that in the very beginning meditation will only be a new habit. Nothing more, nothing less. We will not experience any significant change in how we think or behave until we’ve practiced for several months or more. And that’s a good thing. Meditation is a good habit. Just like reading, healthy eating, and exercise, it will yield results only after a certain period of time.

#10. Thinking About the Right and Wrong Way to Meditate

During meditation, a lot of thoughts may pop up in our minds. The most frequent one will be whether we’re doing it the right way. It’s a mental habit we learn from early childhood. We always try to be perfect and avoid mistakes. To counter this tendency, we should forget everything we know about meditation, dropping every mental concept of how meditation “should be” and just “be.” This is the time when we connect with the infinite depth of our inner being. It’s the time when we become one with the universe and break all barriers of separation.

We need to identify any of the mistakes above and remember about consistency, not judging our experience, treating all thoughts lightly, and getting involved with them. As a supplement, I’ve created a free checklist available through the link below.