“One uncomfortable truth about being human is that we know there is a future and it is uncertain,” write Susan M. Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer in their book The Mindful Way through Anxiety.
Then they add, “Planning and preparing for events in the future is a wise and adaptive strategy. But, as is often paraphrased from the poet Robert Burns, ‘The best laid schemes of mice and men, go often askew.’”
“Fortunately, many anxiety-related problems can be addressed through developing and applying new skills and strategies,” they continue. “One of the most promising of these directions, it turns out, is mindfulness. Mindfulness, with its deep roots in the Buddhist spiritual tradition, involves intentionally bringing a curious and compassionate attention to one’s experiences as they are in the present moment.” But first, we have to understand the difference between fear and anxiety.
What’s the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?
The authors start with fear and how it works:
With fear our response is automatic; there is little need for higher-level thinking. We don’t ponder whether to step out of oncoming traffic; we simply react. … When we are faced with a threat, we feel a surge of fear that peaks in a matter of moments and begins to subside when we are safe.
Then they turn to anxiety and how it’s different from fear:
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Whereas fear is an automatic response to a threat we perceive as imminent, anxiety involves thinking about or imagining some threat that we could encounter in the future. … As a result, anxiety is associated with a general sense of restlessness and irritability. Remaining continuously poised for a possible threat can produce muscle tension, especially in the shoulders, neck, and face. Because our minds are busy considering the future, it is difficult to concentrate on the present while anxious.
But not all anxiety is bad, the authors clarify:
Although prolonged anxiety can take a significant toll on our physical and mental well-being, the ability to consider possible future threats and prepare for them can also boost self-preservation and success.
Here’s a simple table explaining fear vs. anxiety:
| Fear | Anxiety | |
|---|---|---|
| Nature of threat | Immediate | Future |
| Physical response | Surge of panic | Chronic tension and arousal |
| Function | Survival | Preparedness |
What Are the Three Common Patterns of Responding to Anxiety?
Psychologists Susan M. Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer explain the three common ways we try to cope with anxiety:
[W]e identified three common patterns of responding to anxiety that seemed to contribute to the distress and dissatisfaction associated with anxiety-related problems—that is, the patterns that seemed to turn helpful self-preservation mechanisms into metaphorical overprotective bodyguards.
As you’ll have a chance to see for yourself in this book, this three-part sequence involves [1] reacting to the painful emotions of anxiety with narrowed attention and self-criticism and judgment; [2] then trying to escape the anxiety mentally; and, finally, when that doesn’t ease the discomfort, [3] trying to avoid whatever triggers the anxiety.
Then they present an imagined scenario — which, probably, most of us experienced at one time or another in real life — that brings to life these three patterns of responding to anxiety:
Claire just moved from Oklahoma to Los Angeles to take a job with an advertising firm. The weekend before she was scheduled to start, her boss invited the advertising group to dinner.
Claire sat silent and wooden in her chair, surrounded by a group of young, stylish men and women engaged in animated conversation. Her ears rang with the clatter of silverware and plates and the buzz of conversation punctuated by shrieks and peals of laughter. …
The minutes ticked past as Claire frantically searched for something to add to the conversation. [1] She felt her anxiety escalating. Thoughts such as “They must think I am a total hick,” “I am sure they regret hiring me,” “I have to stop sitting here like an idiot and say something,” and “I will never fit in here” raced through her mind.
[2] In addition to feeling afraid and embarrassed, she felt a wave of sadness as memories of her friends and family back home passed through her mind.
[3] Abruptly Claire stood up and weaved through the crowd toward the bathroom. Moments later her boss came through the door and asked in a kind and concerned voice if Claire was ill. From the privacy of the stall, Claire steadied her voice and through her tears responded, “I think something I ate made me ill. Please apologize to everyone, but I think I better slip out of here and head home.”
What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety?
The authors share common signs and symptoms of anxiety:
Thoughts
Worries about what might occur in the future (e.g., “I will fail this test,” “I will be uncomfortable at the party,” “My children will not be happy,” “My parents will become ill,” “I will have a panic attack in the supermarket,” “I am going to get sick from the germs in this bathroom”)Ruminations about the past (e.g., “I can’t believe I said that,” “My boss was so disappointed in me,” “I wish I hadn’t snapped at my partner that way,” “Running into that dog in the park was terrifying”)
Thoughts about being in danger (e.g., “I can’t do this,” “I am having a heart attack,” “I am losing my mind”)
Critical thoughts about the self (e.g., “I am such an idiot,” “I am so lazy,” “I’m such a procrastinator,” “I am a total loser,” “I am a failure”)
Physical sensations
Rapid heart rate
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Sweating
Shortness of breath
Blushing Trembling or shaky feelings
Dry mouth
Stomach distress
Tension or soreness in the neck, shoulders, or any other muscles
Headaches
Restlessness
Fatigue
IrritabilityAdditional emotions
Anger
Sadness
Surprise
Disgust
ShameBehaviors
Repetitive behaviors or habits (e.g., biting fingernails, tapping feet, playing with hair)Avoidance or escape (e.g., turning down an invitation; passing up a promotion; calling in sick to work; making an excuse to cancel a social engagement; leaving an event early; asking someone else to make a phone call for you; taking an alternative route to avoid a bridge, tunnel, or other landmark; using a ritual, security object, or lucky charm to get through an anxious experience)
Distraction techniques (e.g., overeating, smoking, watching television, having a few glasses of wine or a couple of beers, sleeping, shopping)
Attempts to gain power or protect oneself (e.g., communicate aggression, threaten others, assert dominance, express anger)
What Are Your Personal Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety? (A Mindful Exercise)
The authors present a simple exercise to determine your personal signs and symptoms of anxiety:
You probably remember different times when you were anxious or situations that made you stressed at the time.
For this exercise, we ask that you reflect on an anxious situation in what might be a slightly different way. Think about a time within the last week when you were fearful or anxious.
After you finish reading all of these instructions, close your eyes and replay the situation in your mind as vividly as you can, almost like you are starring in your own movie.
Picture the environment you were in, including any sights and sounds around you, except this time, rather than just experiencing the event as it unfolds, see if you can carefully observe your reactions, even if they are totally familiar to you. Bring a new curiosity to your examination.
As you put yourself back into the situation, see if you can notice the thoughts that ran through your mind, any physical changes you noticed in your body, and any other emotions besides fear and anxiety that you experienced.
Notice your behaviors—things you said or did in the situation. Try to stay with the image for several minutes, then jot down what you notice by making a list of your different responses in each domain (i.e., thoughts, physical changes, emotions, and behaviors). You may want to use a notebook to do this and the other exercises in the book so that you can keep all your responses together.
How Can the Book The Mindful Way Through Anxiety Help You?
The authors explain how their book, The Mindful Way Through Anxiety, can help you with anxiety-related-problems:
The goal of this book is to help you discover how mindfulness can help you break free from your struggle with anxiety and open your life to new possibilities.
We’ll start by helping you build a new understanding of anxiety in general—where it comes from, how it operates, how it affects your life in ways you’re hardly aware of.
Befriending these unfamiliar aspects of anxiety will give you a taste of mindfulness and its power to free you from a struggle that may be robbing you of life’s purpose and meaning.
[…]
This method of observation—turning toward something that we would usually avoid and taking a fresh look at a familiar response—is a key characteristic of mindfulness, a core skill we hope to help you develop as you work through this book. Mindfulness involves other skills as well, but cultivating a new way of observing is the first step.
[…]
At first, you may find that focusing on anxiety and fear makes you feel somewhat more uncomfortable or nervous. That is a natural and normal part of the process. As you incorporate the strategies we present throughout the book, we hope you’ll see a decrease in your discomfort and distress with these emotions.
[…]
Mindfulness can help us know when we’re experiencing fear and when it’s anxiety — and how to respond.
Complement The Mindful Way Through Anxiety with our articles on 3 Best Buddhist Meditation Books for Beginners, How to Practice Body Awareness Meditation (With Audio), How to Practice Breathing Meditation (With Audio), The Voice in the Head: Becoming Aware of Your Inner Critic, and the guided meditation on How to Access the Power of Now.
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