“You and your Buddha, why don’t you stick to the religion you were born with?” Jack Kerouac’s mother said when her son tried to explain Buddhism.
This is exactly what Piper Ratliff feared her parents would say to her when she confessed to lying about her true motives for coming to Thailand.
“She’s a religious studies major, and she’s writing a thesis on Buddhism,” Piper’s dad proudly told the staff of “The White Lotus” hotel when they arrived. “And there is a monk at a monastery near here. Anyway, she wants to interview him. So we made a family trip.”
Little did he know that his daughter had no thesis to write, a confession that shocked him and his wife.
“There is no thesis,” Piper told them. “You know the monastery I wanted to visit here? Well, it has a meditation center too. The reason I asked you to come here is so that I could check it out. And I did. And I really, really like it. And I think it’s what I’m gonna do after I graduate.”
“I don’t understand. You want to what?” her mother replied.
“Move here after I graduate. Just, like, at least for a year,” Piper said.
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“But you’re not a Buddhist.”
“Yes, I am, mom,” Piper insisted.
“Honey, you’re not from China,” her mother said.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Piper asked.
“You can be interested in this stuff, but you can never really be it. We’re from an entirely different world,” her mother said.
Now, this dialogue took place during the fifth episode of the third season of “The White Lotus” TV series. And it has only eight of them in total. You won’t be alone if you asked yourself, “Then what was happening during the first four episodes of the show?”
The simple answer is nothing. Nothing was happening. And yet everything was happening. Let me explain.
Several selves ago, I would place myself squarely among the show’s critics. I would say that “The White Lotus” TV series was “painfully slow, borderline meaningless snoozefest,” the words Andy Meek used in his BGR review piece.
But my current, Buddhist self loves the show for exactly the same reasons. Slow and boring? Sign me up!
While many of the show’s fans were hooked on the murder mystery, I had only one question: “What would Piper end up doing?” By modern standards, her subplot was the most uninteresting of all the subplots. And that’s in a TV show criticized for being “agonizingly slow” overall. Perhaps, my motivation can be understood by those who want to be a lay Buddhist, something that Piper aspired to be but eventually gave up. Why? Here’s what she told her mother after spending only one night at the monastery:
Like, the food. I mean, it was vegetarian. But you could tell it wasn’t organic. And it was just kind of bland. I don’t know, it was kind of like, ‘Could I really eat this for a whole year?’
She continued:
And then… Oh my God. And then I went back to my room, and it was this tiny little box with a mattress with stains on it and no air conditioning.
Sobbing, she added:
The idea that I’m this princess who needs things to be a certain way, it’s just so pathetic. … I guess I am spoiled because I can’t live like that. There is so much suffering in the world, and we have it so easy, and other people have it so hard. I just feel it’s really unfair. And I feel really bad.
Her mother, looking concerned and immensely relieved at the same time, said:
We’re lucky. It’s true. No one in the history of the world has lived better than we have. Even the old kings and queens. The least we can do is enjoy it. If we don’t, it’s offensive. It’s an offense to all the billions of people who can only dream that one day they could live like we do. Oh, baby, come here.
Yet Piper’s aspiration to spend a whole year in a Buddhist monastery was genuine. Here’s what she said to the abbot monk when she first met him:
I’m so honored to meet you. I’m coming back this summer for the intensive, but I just wanted to sit with you for a few minutes if that’s okay.
After the monk nodded, she continued:
I’ve been feeling a little lost. Lately, it’s felt like everything is pointless. And the things my family cares about, I just don’t care about, you know? I just don’t. And your book has really helped me get through some really bad days, so thank you for that.
But it only took one night in a tiny monastery room for that aspiration to evaporate. I was disappointed, of course. And then I wondered, “Would Piper change her mind if she met the actual Buddha?” Would that convince her to go forth and spend an entire year in a monastery, devoid of all the luxuries of her daily life?
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According to the ancient scriptures, the Buddha had a life-changing impact on those he met (imagine meeting Jesus Christ in person). Here’s what happened to lay people who had the privilege to talk to him, according to the sutra titled “The Finer Fruits of the Ascetic Life:”
Consider when a Realized One arises in the world, perfected, a fully awakened Buddha, accomplished in knowledge and conduct, holy, knower of the world, supreme guide for those who wish to train, teacher of gods and humans, awakened, blessed.
He has realized with his own insight this world—with its gods, Māras, and divinities, this population with its ascetics and brahmins, gods and humans—and he makes it known to others.
He proclaims a teaching that is good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end, meaningful and well-phrased. And he reveals a spiritual practice that’s entirely full and pure.
A householder hears that teaching, or a householder’s child, or someone reborn in a good family. They gain faith in the Realized One and reflect: ‘Life at home is cramped and dirty, life gone forth is wide open. It’s not easy for someone living at home to lead the spiritual life utterly full and pure, like a polished shell. Why don’t I shave off my hair and beard, dress in ocher robes, and go forth from the lay life to homelessness?’
After some time, they give up a large or small fortune, and a large or small family circle. They shave off hair and beard, dress in ocher robes, and go forth from the lay life to homelessness.
Once they’ve gone forth, they live restrained in the monastic code, conducting themselves well and resorting for alms in suitable places. Seeing danger in the slightest fault, they keep the rules they’ve undertaken. They act skillfully by body and speech. They’re purified in livelihood and accomplished in ethical conduct. They guard the sense doors, have mindfulness and situational awareness, and are content.
Complement this enlightening episode from the third season of “The White Lotus” with Jack Kerouac on how to explain Buddhism to your parents, why the Buddha started his spiritual journey, and then revisit the Buddha’s teaching in one sentence.
I’m a freelance writer and mindfulness advocate behind this blog. I started my meditation practice in 2014, and in 2017 I launched this website to share what I learn with others. Here are the three things you can do here:
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